50 Days of Running

 It is that time of year - again!

Last year, for the first time in 15 years, I completely bombed out of my annual birthday challenge. I started off well for the first three days with the Western Cape Orienteering Champs, which was fabulous. On the last day, near the end of the course, I took a slide on a wet log in the forest, strained the inner-thigh muscles of my left leg and ended up quite sore for days plus with a twitchy muscle behind my knee playing up as a result of this. I've subsequently learned how to prevent and fix this, but a year ago I did not have a solution.

This was a horrible setback that knocked me more than I expected. I also wasn't really in a good space overall and did not have the mental capacity to try to pick-up the challenge again or even to modify and continue with it. I half planned to pick up the challenge later in the year... I just could not get myself together. I decided to just be kind to myself and let go. 

The months pass, the seasons change and life moves on. In what feels like no time at all, we are here again.

I'm in a far better place mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm running better, faster and stronger than I have for 10 years and I'm looking forward to the discipline of this annual pre-birthday game.

For this year, I'm sticking with 4km a day. I usually average more, but 4km is doable on those days that go crazy and where I would normally pass up getting out for getting something else done. 

This challenge is not about logging distance; the challenge is to show up every day to do something for myself.

Other activities like crossfit, yoga, mountain biking, dog walking and the like do not contribute to the 4km tally.

As you would have picked up from the title of this post, I will be turning 50 this year.

I know! I know! Where have the years gone!

For the first time, my challenge starts outside of May, in April. Another sign of the passing years as the start date has progressively moved earlier by one day since I started this 16 years ago.

Hip-hip hooray! Time to lace up my shoes for this 50-day adventure.

(About the above image: I asked my friend Chatty (ChatGPT) to create an image for me for '50 Days of Running' with Outeniqua Mountains terrain and birthday decorations like bunting flags and confetti for a festive vibe. I had not published this post and I did not ask Chatty to insert the text 'Cheers to 50 days of showing up for you'. Gotta love AI.)

Revenge anchors you in the past

 A lot of what I think about these days has to do with mediation, couples, families, hurt, hatred, resentment, anger and how hard it is to let go of wrongs of the past.

I’m watching ‘The Cleaner’ on Netflix (very good series). A comment from a character in the episode that I watched a few nights ago (S2E10) caught my attention. 

 “You are so stuck on revenge right now that you can’t see the big picture”. 

 This quote stood out for me because it is brutally honest. 

 revenge /rɪˈvɛn(d)ʒ/ Revenge is the act of inflicting harm, injury, or punishment in return for a perceived or actual wrong, injury, or insult. 

In divorce and post-divorce conflict, there is often so much hurt, humiliation, anger, rejection, loss of identity, and even fear about the future that exists. Revenge – through financial or emotional means – can feel like a way to restore balance or dignity, but it rarely delivers what it promises. 

 Underneath revenge there is often a need to be seen and validated. Unless this is addressed, conflict and ‘games’ will continue. 

The problem with acting in revenge is that it is a vicious circle that keeps you hooked into the conflict and focused on the past. Instead of closure, you stay stuck thinking about it and acting in vengeful ways. Also, holding onto revenge ties you to the very person that you want to be free of. Even an award of a million dollars would make no difference until the emotional account is settled. 

 In mediation this is a problem because no settlement offer will be sufficient because the goal is not resolution – it is emotional equilibrium. It is only when a person feels genuinely heard (even if nothing else changes), that a shift will take place and resolution will be possible, there is distance (time and space) from the original injury to soften its effect, and when the person regains a sense of control over their own life. 

 How does one let go of a desire for revenge or move on from this feeling and need? Well, it is not about forgiving the other party. Instead, it demands an honest look at what holding onto revenge costs. When you decide that it is costing you too much, that’s when change – and resolution – can happen. Costs can be mental, physical and emotional exhaustion, the development of a new relationship, a financial reality check, or simply a lack of time. 

As satisfying as 'getting even' may appear to be, how will this really change your life day-to-day, or how will your life in five years be significantly different to what it will be on your current path?

(In a divorce, there is due settlement. Revenge is over and above a fair separation of assets and maintenance awards.)

Only you can make yourself happy – whether through time, therapy, mediation, or life moving on.

 Discovering this sooner rather than later in a conflict situation will cause less collateral damage along the way and will give you what you most need – freedom. 

Street mediation

 On Wednesday evening, just before dark, I had my first opportunity to do a 'Street Mediation'.

I was nearly home from a walk with my Rosy-dog, when I heard shouting and screaming behind me. Turning, I noticed a man and a woman walking fast towards me. They were crossing the road, the man following the woman -  a short gap between them. It was the man who I had initially heard; screaming high-pitched at her in such a way that I could not make out a single word; and then her return, also unintelligible.

As they got closer, I noticed the woman looked in distress, tears running down her face. I stopped her to ask if she was OK and if I could help. She said she was not OK and that the guy had her bag and wouldn't return it. She was crying and could barely breathe.

I asked him to pass me the bag so that I could return it to her. He handed it over without hesitation. I gave it to her. She was still taking deep breaths.

Around this time he said that the woman was his wife. I told him that it didn't matter who she was; if she did not want him to follow her or to take her bag, then he should respect that.

I turned back to the woman, asking her where she was going.

"Home," she replied.

I asked whether it was the same place where he was heading. She said no.

As I turned back to him, the woman marched off, continuing home.

I suggested to him that on another day, when they were both in the emotional space to have a discussion, that they sit down to talk about whether their relationship is working. 

He then reiterated that she was his wife.

I responded that it didn't matter what their connection, she did not want him around and that she had been in a state of distress, trying to get away from him. 

He said he was trying to make sure she got home safe.

I asked him whether he could see the state of distress she was in, and I told him that she preferred to walk into the dark on her own to get home instead of having him with her; and that should tell him something. He appeared to think about this.

I suggested again that they both have a sit down on another day, perhaps with a trusted family member present.

He then almost flung up his arms saying, "You don't know anything".

I told him that I did.

"How?" he asked.

"Because I'm a mediator," I replied. "This is what I do."

He took a deep breath and almost seemed to relax.

He asked whether he was expected to just listen to her.

I said no, that they need to both speak and to both listen to each other. Just not today. She was in no position to have any conversation with him or anyone else so deep was her distress. I added that if she did not want to be with him, then he would need to respect that. They clearly have issues that they need to speak about... but on another day.

And that was that. An intervention that helped that situation right then, and that I hope will help him and her.

Rusty's 9th adoptversary

 9 years ago, on 24 March 2017, I got my first dog, Rusty. She was about 5.5 to 6 years old at the time and she needed a home. It holds true that I didn't rescue her, she rescued me.

With thanks to the persuasive powers of friend Sonja, to whom I am eternally grateful, Rusty came to me. From the moment we met, we had a connection and I count my blessings that we get to celebrate our 9th year together today.

At around 15 years old, Rusty is an old lady. She looks good, has super-soft, magnificent fur, and a lot of sass. She never turns down a meal and never says no to a treat. Eyesight and hearing are there but diminished, but there is nothing wrong with that nose. She still loves doing errands with me, and she loves going out on walks. These days, walks are short, somewhat slow, filled with sniffing, and she dictates the route. I let her wander where she would like to go. She has a bit of doggy dementia, seemingly confused for a moment - just like me when I walk into a room and forget what I went there for. I keep her on lead now on walks - she gets unsettled if I am out of her sight.

Rusty has always been a mom's girl, with little interest in other dogs or people. She is still like this and she always has an eye on me. She has become more bossy, herding me to bed when she has decided that I'm working too late at night for my own good (and she is correct).

Realistically, I know that my time with Rusts is limited. That we've made it this far, with her at around 15, is very special and fortunate.

My Rusty girl, happy adoptversary  

Pictures on top left and bottom right are from our first afternoon together when I brought her home. 

Troysta Run 2026

The second edition of the Troysta Run was held on 22 February 2026 and I was one of the 200 runners lined up at the start. 

I ran Troysta last year. It is a local event that was created by Shaun and Michelle Schofield to celebrate the life of their son Troy. In late 2023, Troy died from bacterial meningitis. He was 18 and a few months away from writing matric exams. Troy and his dad shared a love for mountains, trails and running. The 10km race route is one that Troy won when it was the MUT Lite route. 

This race is a wonderful George Trail Running (GTR) community event to celebrate running, and being able to run. Funds raised go towards trail maintenance.

The route is tough. The first three kays go almost straight up on the Vertical Kilometre route to the The Cross and onto the Thunderbird trail. I had a superb climb to the Cross. From last year, I knew what was ahead so I climbed strong but within what I could do.

Then, it is steep dropping into the Powerstream and just as steep up Henry's Hill on the other side to the well-stocked aid station at halfway. I remember feeling really tired here last year; this year I even ran parts of the hill.

From the aid station the route is very runnable and it is an opportunity to make up time. 

On the open contour road is was roasting hot. The weather that week had been cooking and I was surprised at the 8am start. Out in the sun I really felt the heat. I did two small walkies of less than 30 seconds to catch my breath, and each time I asked myself:

"How do your legs feel?" Great

"How do your lungs feel?" Great

"How is your heart rate?" Fine

"Then what is your excuse for walking? Run!"

And so I did.

Passing a 5km runner/walker

I felt great reaching the finish - and I was very relieved to be there. It was really hot by then.

I'd hydrated well on the run but chased two cups of cold water at the finish, sweat running off me.

I was super pleased with my run time of 1:27:54. 36th overall, 11th woman and 6th in my age category (40-49, I'm at the top of the age category at 49).

Lots of PRs (personal records)

I seem to think I ran about 1:45 last year. My Strava shows an elapsed time of 1h48; real time could have been a bit more or a bit less. 

Taking off a good chunk from last year and feeling so good throughout was a win. The day after I was none worse for wear either, another win.

Pictured with Shaun Schofield at prize giving with a lucky draw prize of a necklace and coffee vouchers.

With thanks to Troysta Run and the photographers (Emma, Charl, Jacques) for these photos.

--------------------------

As I didn't blog about Troysta last year, I'm popping in photos from the approach to the halfway aid station to save them.

Troysta Run 2025

Troysta Run 2025

I have the crown (and course record), for now

Every Thursday, we have a trailrunning community time trial at 17h30. Our George Trailrunning (GTR) announced a special for this past Thursday (5th) and in two weeks time (17th) with Roccomamas, a burger restaurant. You run the route, log it on Strava, and then show evidence to the manager. You can then order a cheese burger for R50 instead of R99, a great saving.

You have to run the route on the same day that you claim your burger. There are also prizes up for grabs of an entry for the MUT 25km route and a R1000 burger voucher for the local legend (person who runs the route the most). 

I knew I wouldn't make it to time trial with a hang-out with friends planned. Instead, I headed out at lunchtime. I left Rosy-dog at home so that I could really focus on the run. I've been running well and strong and I wanted to see what I could do on the route - a mix of road and trail. 

I had a great, smooth run. I felt good throughout and I enjoyed pushing myself. 

When I got back to Roccomamas, I saved my Strava and took a photo outside the store before going in to order. I showed the waitress my phone and asked if they'd been busy. No, she said. I was the first to come in. Strava showed too that I was the first person to run the course.

I took my burger home to share with my mom - a really delicious burger.

Being the first and only person on the course, I automatically had the crown as the fastest runner. That was nice but I knew it wouldn't last past the evening's time trial running.

I went out to see my friends. Getting home a few hours later, I checked my Strava to see where I was on the ranking after the evening's time trial.

I still had the crown! And I wasn't just the fastest woman, I was fastest OVERALL!

Charmaine ran again on Friday to log 26:47.

I know that there are lots of people faster than me so I can't figure out why I haven't been beaten on Strava. Probably because the faster runners didn't log their runs to claim a burger and they are not interested in the prizes? 

Another lady ran the route again yesterday. She improved her time but she hasn't caught me.

The problem with having the crown is that now I want to keep it. I like having the crown. That competitive flame burns strong. 

For now, I'm owning the crown and relishing having it - for as long as it may be. 

Circles of Control

I attended a mediation-related workshop last week. The topic was 'Developmental Psychology for Mediators'. This is the field that focuses on our physical, cognitive, and socio-emotional development from early childhood, through the teenage years and into early and middle adulthood. We all go through the same steps as our brains physically and psychologically develop. We ideally progress from being impulsive, irrational, and egocentric children with an inability to verbalise and regulate emotions, to a well-rounded adult that is able to solve problems, have empathy, regulate and articulate emotions, and experience independent thought.

In my new career journey as a mediator, my clients open the door – and their hearts – to me, allowing me to listen to and understand their situation so that I can guide them to a way forward; a path that will give them resolution and, I always hope, peace.

What I observe is unnecessary hurting. Ex-partners take opportunities to wound the other, to make a stand to defend their position, and the add fuel that continues the conflict.

Why do adults that have been through a mostly-complete psychological development not exhibit the traits of reasoning, understanding, emotional regulation and maturity that they should have in adulthood when they find themselves in a conflict situation?

The relationship has broken down for various reasons from violence and trauma, to betrayal, incompatibility, growth and stagnation.

In the dissolving of their relationship, people go through grief, uncertainty, fear, anxiety, anger and resentment. This changes how they behave.

Each party will have a belief about the injustice dealt to them, and a desire for ‘justice’ to be served. The ongoing conflict is about continuing to try to balance the scales, however misplaced and futile their attempts.

We are left then with conflict and poor communication, and parties perpetually living in the past. Even if one partner is able to let go, the other will drag them into the downward spiraling vortex again and again.

On the webinar, we were reminded of the Circles of Control. This cognitive tool is adapted to all kinds of areas from dealing with family over the holidays, bullies at school, and the work environment. The principle is that there is an inner circle of aspects in life that are within your control, and an outer circle of factors that are outside of your control.*

In terms of family disputes, your own behaviour and how you respond to others is under your control. You can also, in the parenting situation, control your behaviour to your children, especially as a non-primary caregiver where elements of parental alienation may be in play. You can continue to reach out, be present, be supportive and be available, regardless of the response received. 

What you cannot control is the other person. You cannot control what they say or do. You can only control how you react to them. You cannot control the financial and lifestyle changes as a result of divorce, but you can adapt, make the best of the situation, and move forward.

You cannot prevent feeling emotions like hate, anger, frustration, and contempt, but you can regulate and process these emotions to behave with neutrality towards the other party instead of retaliating.

In speaking to a client, I reminded them of the Circles of Control in their high-conflict situation. They had mentioned a few weeks back about trying to be kinder to the other party. Circles of Control has empowered them to stay this course regardless of what the other party may fling their way.

Circles of Control is going to be my ‘theme tune. I will use it at the start of every mediation interaction with new clients. As obvious as this concept seems, it is clearly forgotten in the heat of dispute. Applied to divorce, Circles of Control is a powerful reminder and tool for every person.

* If want another layer, the Circle of Influence lies between aspects within and outside of your control. These are elements that you indirectly have the power to influence or change.

As always, I think of topics to write about almost daily, but then I struggle to get around to writing here. There always seems to be something more important to do. It is with thanks to my friend Staci and that I joined her 45-minute writing session this morning on Zoom that I got this post down. It has been swirling around in my mind for days. Thank you Staci x

Another Circles of Control diagram - for general life.

Found through Google Images

Books I read in 2025

I enjoyed some superb reads this past year. There were also a good half-dozen (or more) that I read in part before dumping, safe in the knowledge that I could move on and never wonder about the outcome of the story. 

From mid-July to mid-October I was studying to become a mediator and so most of what I consumed - not logged here - was related to mediation, including a number of audiobooks of two to five hours in duration.

As always, a mix of fiction and non-fiction. I'm really enjoying books about people's lives (not adventurers, sports stars, politicians or celebs - just regular people with that something interesting in their life - profession, an experience etc).

Let's jump in...

When God Was a Rabbit by Sarah Winman and Rocket Men by Robert Kurson are my two favourites from this selection. When God was a Rabbit is a tale - a beautifully woven story about family and friendships and love. It is unsurprising that this book has won various awards.

Rocket Men is astounding. I loved it. Much like Rocket Girls, which I read in 2023, this book is about getting the first humans to the moon. The technical information is superb, the calculating, trajectories, risks... Absolutely incredible.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed is a thru-hiker account of the Pacific Crest Trail. Thoroughly enjoyable read too. 

The other three books are fast-reading fiction.

Again, the non-fiction stood out for me with four great books here.

The Adventurer's Son by Roman Dial was superb - and sad. Roman's son went missing in Costa Rica. Roman was an adventure racer and I've run down the western coast of Costa Rica, including into the Corcovado National Park, so I felt a connection going in. Roman's story about his life of adventure, his son growing up and how they raised their children was fascinating. And his account of searching for his son had me searching alongside him with each page turned. 

Better Living through Birding by Christian Cooper was read by the author - very good - and also very well written. I enjoyed the account of his life, and how he got into birding as well as his passion for it. I learned much from him on this. What was even more insightful was his experience of racism in the US. Insightful and deeper understanding and learning for me. If you'd tried to sell me on a book about racism, I would have passed it up, but how Cooper tells his story of his life and experiences - eloquently, with humour and with birding as the core theme, was very well done. 

Lethal Tides by Catherine Musemeche about marine scientist Mary Sears is outstanding! Mary Sears was at Woodshole Oceanographic Institute (Massachusetts), which is where I spent a couple of weeks back in 1998, so I could picture the place and the area. What an absolutely incredible woman! One of the things that stood out for me in this story of marine science, oceanography, tides and war, was how much was accomplished, organised and coordinated on a massive scale by phone and mail in the time before email and whatsapp, and computers. Libraries, information, writing and publishing reports, data, research, referencing, scientific journals... Incredible. Sears dedicated her life to her work and in so doing advanced the field of oceanography and left an indelible mark.

Bill Bryson is a gem. I've read a number of his books including my favourites 'The Mother Tongue: English' and 'How It Got That Way', 'At Home: A Short History of Private Life', and 'A Short History of Nearly Everything'. This one, The Body, was thoroughly interesting although I had the feeling that I'd read it before. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the refresher. Bryson writes with good humour and wit, delivering a load of information in a neat and entertaining package.

I love Jeffrey Archer and had not read one for ages. While I can't remember the storyline now, I recall that I enjoyed it. Housewife's Secret is in the same boat. Entertaining read.

The Body on the Shore - general fiction read. Enjoyable whodunnit.

Fredrik Backman is one of my favourite authors and I've read most of his books. This one did not disappoint. A beautiful story of lives and friendships. 

Lisa Sanders consulted on the House series, which I loved for the medical mysteries and diagnoses. Watching the TV show, I'd always try to figure out the condition before it was revealed. So this book, Diagnosis, was a delight. I enjoyed the case presentations and again trying to figure out the diagnosis with the clues presented.

I've been subscribed to Mark Manson's e-newsletter for a few years. I like his practical and philosophical insights. While I can't recall specifics about this book, I enjoyed the listen and picked up some good stuff to think about.

Sharks Don't Sink by Jasmin Graham was brilliant. Aside from the interesting research and marine science content, I was again captivated by her insights about being a black woman in science and academia. Coming off Cooper's birding book, I was more attuned to Jasmin's reality. 

If you've loved The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls and Educated by Tara Westover, you'll devour Daniella Mestyanek Young's Uncultured. Like the other two, it is a story about overcoming difficult, unconventional upbringings (she grew up in a religious cult), family dysfunction, survival, and self-discovery - and success. I loved every page.

Chasing Hope by reporter Nicholas D. Kristof was fascinating. An account of his life of reporting around the world for major media over many decades. 

Robert Galbraith's detective Cormoran Strike books have been part of my reading life for a decade now. I've read maybe six of the seven in paper / kindle, and the rest have been audio. The reader Robert Glenister is phenomenal; I chose audio-only from about the 4th book. They're usually over 30-hours long, so excellent value. I did a binge listen on this one - I could hardly put it down. Following Strike and Robin's case is always enthralling. Actually, their relationship and interactions with each other has certainly superseded the case content that they are investigating for me - and Liz. 

If you have not read any of these, I recommend starting from the first book in the series. Sure, you can drop in with any book (each book is a case), but you'll get the most out of getting to know the characters as they have developed over the last 10 years. Galbraith is JK Rowling, writing under a pseudonym. 

The other books in this group: regular fiction entertainment.

In the last four...

The mediation book was for the course that I did. We only had to read a section, but I ended up reading the whole thing, especially enjoying the transcripts from a few matters that were mediated. It took me a while to get through but was well worth the time.

Then two quick fiction reads before my last book of the year, The Socrates Express by Eric Weiner. 

I read this as an audiobook but I think paper would be better to be able to add tabs for parts that stood out and also for easier re-reading. This book certainly gave me a lot more insight into philosophy and philosophers (I'm very much a stoic). Weiner covers 14 philosophers from ancient to modern, mixed in with interesting content about their lives, influences, thinking, influences and the time and place in which they lived - together with Weiner's travel and experiences. At some stage I'd like to relisten to the last few chapters.

I feel like I could have done 'better', but a few months of studies and numerous lemons lowered the count. Overall, a good bunch of reads.

Onward into 2026.

Longest run in a long time

For the last 6 years, I have done very few long runs. 

When I first moved to George, five years ago, I had a right-knee niggle that I was rehabilitating. I did not know the cause and more than 8 months at the biokineticist resulted in small improvements. A visit to a chiropractor did the trick - my knee pain related to locked SI joint and lower back muscle tension.

I got back to running but stuck with shorter distances (max 8 to 9km) and avoided steep descents.

My knee niggle swapped sides with the left tweaking. Again the problem came from tight lower back, glutes, quads and ITB, which all tugged at my knee making it feel sore. But not all the time. 

I've done odd events (orienteering - max 8km distances), an adventure race (no niggle), an 18km run from Knysna and a handful of runs in the 14/15km distance.

I've learned how to prevent and manage lower back tension (less stress, stretching, mobilisation) and these work well for me.

In the last two months I've had more distance with a few 10km, and three 14-15km runs, and a dash of hiking to cut alien vegetation. I'm consistently stronger and also none worse for wear after each one. 

So, I decided to do the 21km course of the 'For The Trails' run, one of the Garden route Trail Running December events - this one a fundraiser towards the massive amount of trail maintenance done by GTR and Hillbillies.

At the 7am start, it was already warm, but not hot. The course started with a whopper climb up to Tonnelbos and from there on the steep trail up to Van Daalens Peak. I've only ever been down the trail that we went up. 

My strategy for the first 7km - to get over Van Daalens - was to take it 'easy' without spiking my heart rate or breathing so that I would be able to run and enjoy the next 14km of mostly runnable terrain. This worked really well for me and the kilometers ticked off almost too quickly. 

Highlight for me today was the fynbos and the abundance of flowers (Watsonia and others) on the path up to Van Daalens and across the top. And the views of the mountains on the other side.

I felt great throughout the run, paced it well and finished strong. After Van Daalens, I didn't see any people until I caught runners further back on the short course on the Lookout trail. I enjoyed being out there on my own with no distractions.

The run took me around 3h30. It must have been two hours to get to 9km with all that ascent. 

I'm looking forward to enjoying more long runs out there. 

My JHB friends Tania and Paul and their daughters are down here for Xmas. We went to the Bon Game Reserve parkrun on Saturday morning, which is a bit out of Mossel Bay on the Cape town side. Small parkrun, really nice route, some steep short climbs and pleasant running. 

with Paul, Tania and Sarah. 

Big discounts - and they're not making a loss

 We decided long ago that AR Gaiters would not do discounts on our products and Black Friday sales. Our pricing is fair and it is not overinflated to accommodate seasonal sales. We also didn't want someone who orders one day to score big, while someone else two days later who only just heard of us misses out and pays full price. We also did not want our sales to be affected by customers waiting six months for a clearance sale.

On Sunday morning, I went to Food Lover's Market for the first time in a long time. A friend had shared that a sale was on and one of the items was 2kg parboiled rice, which I mix in with my dog's food. The price was a win at 4 x 2kg for R100. I picked up some other items for myself and for my friend too. The special included 8 x 500g pasta for R100. The saving, just on this, was R139.92! In total, my savings on a total bill of R599 - items for me and for my friend, came to R291.79. 

Here's the thing... they are not making a loss on selling these products at significantly lower prices. They are just making less profit. It is a numbers game selling bigger volume for a lower margin to still come out right at the end.

I do love a good discount, and I would be a fool not to take advantage of offers, but it does make me feel that the rest of the time I'm being ripped off.

We never want our AR Gaiters customers to feel like this so we instead deliver an excellent product at a fair price all year.

New career path - Mediation

 I'm very proud to announce a new career path that I have chosen... I am now a qualified Family Law Mediator.

I've had a busy few months with part-time studies through Mediation Academy. The course wrapped up with two intensive practical days just before I joined up with the team for Strandloper Project.

Even a year ago, I could not have imagined that this would be my path. The silver lining to three years of encounters with the law directly (Vagabond) and indirectly (two close family members) made it clear that court, where the outcome is out of your control, is not a solution (for most non-criminal disputes) and that there has to be a better, less expensive, quicker and more successful way.

 
There is. Mediation.

The foundation of mediation studies is Family Mediation (divorce, maintenance, child care and contact). The tools and techniques acquired here apply to other types of conflict.

 
With more than 30-years in sports (participating, directing, teams, committees and organisations), this is a keen area of interest for me to mediate disputes in the sports environment (athlete-athlete, coach-athlete, association-athlete, sponsor-athlete etc).

 
Life and experiences have led me to this new second-life career. Now the hard work starts in building a new business. Lisa de Speville Mediation is online - a lot still to be built over time.

Logo elements inspired by my love for navigation.
The bodies of the people are compass arrows.
Three people for Party A, Mediator and Party B.

A friend passed on this quote recently and it holds true:

"And then it happens... One day you wake up and you're in this place. You're in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. You're at peace, at peace with where you've been, at peace with what you've been through and at peace with where you're headed."

(popular motivational text with no single confirmed author)

Strandloper Project Research Expedition 2025

It was very special to be part of this year's Strandloper Project Research Expedition (15-25 October 2025), documenting the amount and types of waste littering Garden Route beaches. I seldom visit the beach, so I have a whole new perspective and awareness of what is going on. Chunky trash and also nurdles and microplastics on the beach is an indication of so much more that is going on than what we see.

I spent 9 days (of the 11; I joined on Day 3 in Stilbaai) walking a section of the Garden Route coastline from Blombos Nature Reserve to Wilderness. I've followed and supported this research expedition for a few years and this year I did not want to miss out. I enjoyed writing our daily posts on the Strandloper Project Facebook page.

2025 Strandloper Project Research Expedition team: Jonathan, Mandy, Lisa, Mark. Our awesome support driver Rose took this photo.

 Packaging of products by manufacturers, our purchasing of packaged products (water and other beverages included), what we do with this generated waste and what our municipalities do with this waste is a big part of dealing with contamination of waterways, drains, the sea and beaches.

If you go to the beach - or to a river, take a bag along with you to fill with litter. Picking it up - even if the tide is going to bring more in tomorrow - makes a difference in a variety of ways.

Beaches will never look the same again and I don't think I can ever set foot on a beach again without doing a Trashy20 survey first.

Strandloper Project online

Website: www.strandloperproject.org
Facebook: www.facebook.com/StrandloperProjectResearch
Instagram: www.instagram.com/strandloperproject

My thanks to Mark Dixon, Mandy Pelser, Jonathan Britton and Rose Greyling Bilbrough for being such awesome, dedicated and hard-working teammates and for showing me the ropes. We had many sponsors who offered their support from a back-up vehicle to frozen, cooked meals, and sunblock. We looked like a research team with matching shirts and jackets. AR Gaiters did our gaiters again this year - this time in a custom Strandloper Project print. Every contribution made this expedition possible.

A Trashy20 (10m x 2m) survey on a pebble beach - this was just surface material.

Mark is working through the collected data. Findings will be posted on Strandloper's Facebook page.

49 Days of Running

My annual pre-birthday challenge starts a day earlier each year, and this year 1 May marked Day 1. This time around, Day 1 happened to be the first day of the Western Cape Orienteering Festival - four days of orienteering.

I had three participation days, which I've written about in separate posts (Day 3 still to come), and today, Day 4, as course planner for the sprint event.

A beautiful morning for orienteering today. 

This year I'm going to stick with same-same with a 4km/day challenge. It worked really well for me on top of my other activities of dog outings and crossfit. I certainly averaged over 4km/day last year, which is fine. But on those crazy days, getting out for 4km is doable.

Last year's birthday challenge really worked well for me after about three years of poor running. I felt great coming odd the challenge and built on that over this past year. I've been feeling really good. 

Today, my Day 4, I don't think I did quite 4km. I did run around this morning putting out some controls and then afterwards collecting controls. 

I've got a sore left knee and inner thigh muscles after a overextension slip-and-slide in the forest yesterday during orienteering. I'm going to nurse this for a day or two and see how it does. I was quite sore and limping by the time I got home today. If I need to substitute Day 5 run with something low key, so be it.

So, here begins 49 days of commitment to me. Hip hip hooray

W. Cape Orienteering Festival Day 2

Day 2 was a middle distance course and while it did not over a big area, it was pretty tricky because of the straight-line forest navigation and sketchy vegetation features.

After yesterday's OK, but not exemplary run, I was a bit more cautious today. That my first control was slightly dodgey, I was even more cautious for the rest. 

Overall, my navigation was actually pretty spot on. I wasn't feeling confident and the terrain was such that I walked, tramped or sort of jogged. This did allow me the pleasure of seeing hundreds of fungi. Loads of Russula (brittle gills) and more deliciously edible boletes than I have ever seen. I actually stopped briefly to look at the biggest one I've ever seen - way bigger than my hand. If my phone had not been in the back of my backpack I would have taken a photo.

There were really only two errors that I made today. The rest were just cautiously slow. I didn't have to hunt for any of them. 

Control 1

Man, I hate messing up the first control. 

I didn't want to chance an uphill and forest vegetation so I ran around on the road, taking a bearing from the bend. I overshot and I was a bit to the right. I decided to turn around, get back to the road and try again, when I pretty much walked on to the control. 

This shook my confidence a bit and set the stage for the rest of the course. While I walked on to most of the controls and didn't have to hunt, I wasn't really trusting and felt what was almost surprise when I found the controls where I thought they should be. Haha so silly even after all these years. 

Controls 5 and 6

I came into 5 a bit low, saw the road, which I knew I shouldn't be seeing. I can only say that it was with luck that I was in the right alignment to walk deeper in and just find it. 

I'm then not sure what caused me to make my next mistake... 

I took a bearing from 6 to 7, thinking that I was at 6! I got to the road, realised that I should have been going 5 to 6 and not 6 to 7. So I ran on the road and then ducked into the forest and got the control. That would have been bad if I'd missed 6. 

That was really it for any drama today. 

I found that the nav today took a lot of focus and attention. I used my compass for pretty much every control and really tried to use direction, contours and vegetation to hit them straight. 

Hilton beat me by two minutes. He had a big error that took him about 16 minutes to find a control. I didn't have any of those big mistakes but most of my controls were a bit slower than his. 

Jacori had a good run. She beat me by almost 5 minutes. I think she had two big errors but was consistently quicker on the rest. Over 18 controls, a minute faster here and there adds up. 

Tomorrow is the long distance event. I'm hoping that these two days were warm ups to tune my brain into focus. 

W. Cape Orienteering Festival Day 1

The first day of the Western Cape Orienteering Festival took place at Royston Farm, where I did the run-mtb-run event two weeks ago. Still, orienteering navigation is very different to Google Earth map navigation so I knew the course would be challenging.

Overall, my nav was OK, but I did make a few less desirable choices. I wasn't particularly focused, for whatever reason, and it showed as a non-competitive run. 

These are the odd things that I did:

Control 3

I came in a bit low to #2 and then not wanting to chance the green vegetation, I ran around. At 3, I first went in from a bend in the path and didn't find the control where I thought it should be. Shock and horror. 

I went back to the path and ran around a bit more - the control was visible from the path.

Control 3 to 4

The easy route was to run on the trail that runs parallel to the road (yellow). I cycled this two weeks ago. So I decided to rather take the trails. This was definitely slower, but was new terrain for me to discover and demanded that I pay attention to the map.

Control 5

Approaching 5, my first thought was to go from the corner of the road, but then I decided to rather get closer by taking a bearing from the bend in the path.

I suspect that I didn't go far enough before starting to look for the control when I didn't see it where I thought it should be (thicket). I looked around for a bit and then took myself back to the road and the corner, took a bearing and I walked straight to it. 

My Strava track shows that I may have even passed it nearby. 

From this, it looks like I wasn't quite at the bend and that I went in too soon... But this is probably a map-track offset as it doesn't show me coming along right on the road, from the right, which I did. 

Control 7

For the route to 7, the fastest would have been to take the trail that I'd come up on (yellow) but instead I took the zig-zaggy trail. It worked fine but was definitely less efficient. 

And that was it. Moving slower, being way too chilled and these errors cost me. 

Hilton finished 22 minutes faster than me and Jacori 10 minutes. 

I'll really need to focus on the long event on Saturday. 

Making the best of the last of summer - Van Daalen Peak

 With a 33 deg day forecast, my friend Talita suggested an early morning hike up to Van Daalen Peak, one of a few that look over my home town of George. I did this hike around this time last year, so I was due a return. We had a nice group for what was a spectacular morning.

We did the hike anti-clockwise, which I think is the better option as the track connecting Van Daalen to Tonnlbos, which we descend, is very steep in places (clambering vertically on all fours is required) and can be very muddy in places, as it was today after rains last week. The benefit too of anti-clockwise is that you have the sun behind you on the descent instead of in your face.

I took Rosy along and we had a magnificent morning out.

We set off at 06h00 and watched sunrise on our way up. We hung out for a while at the top, chilling and snacking before heading down. I haven't been through Tonnelbos for a while and it is looking as magical as ever.

We've had a beautiful weekend. A cold front is incoming and rain is forecast from Wednesday.

Sunrise looking towards Wilderness. Photo from Otto

 

Me, sitting on a rock. Otto and Talita in the background.

Rosy enjoying a splash in a rock puddle.

With Talita, Otto, Zelda and Johann. Etienne and Jolene not pictured (they were still on the way).

Talita, me and Zelda with our floral AR Gaiters.

I have no idea (yet) what this flower is. This is the first time that I've seen it. I only saw them in one place on the descent. Really pretty.

Coming to the end of the Giant Proteas, but still a good number around. They are magnificent!

Miss Rosy is such a good hiking girl xxx