HELP! I need somebody

The Beatles' song 'Help!' is one of my favourite high-speed treadmill running tracks. At 95bpm it is a VERY fast-cadence song.

On Thursday I had a fortuitious meeting with a friend; someone I've known for a few years through sport involvements, albeit not very well. He has had a rough couple of months with a turbulent relationship split, job changes, little exercise and general un-wellbeing.

When dealing with emotional stressors - relationship, work, financial, social committments and obligations - there comes a time when enough is enough. Too much rushing from one thing too the next; too many obligations - things you're obliged to do and from which you get a level of personal satisfaction but which you don't really want to do; too little time for yourself and exercise - things that are important to you; and too many things that you've given a little attention to instead of giving lots of attention to fewer things to get a better result.

And then you sit back and see so much time has passed in which you've accomplished much but it feels like little and you haven't done many things that you really wanted to because you've been fulfilling obligations. And through this all you take knocks, like a boat on a rough seas - the result is shattered confidence and the desire to climb into a hole and not get out.

Although the reality of the situation is not dire, it feels dire. Molehills feel like mountains and even the addition of one more task, even something as simple as having to submit an event entry form, causes distress. It's a small task that feels like a huge task; but is yet another one to add to all the overwhelming others.

My friend is looking at changing jobs, leaping from independant consulting to a coporate position; it is scary when you've had your freedom. He has to now get back on the map, update his CV and sell himself. He's good at what he does; very good. So good that he is headhunted by international companies for top-notch positions. Although he knows this, he's feeling low. But he also knows that he has to dust himself off because there are changes to be made.

We often live in isolation, taking stress as it comes and dealing with it on our own. But when it gets too much? That's when you need to shout, "HELP! I need somebody!".

The most difficult part is to find the right somebody - and you can't recruit through a classified ad in a newspaper. Sometimes the somebody just needs to listen and be an understanding ear; other times, like this, the somebody needs to do. And you don't have to be a close friend or relation to be this vital somebody. A right somebody is the right somebody regardless of association.

Although I am in favour of psychologists, there are times when you almost need a practical somebody with knowledge of your industry and issues to say, "Do X first, then Y and then Z". Yes, instructional handholding to get you back on your feet emotionally. You do the work; they provide the step by step instructions and those all important pats on your back.

My friend started by taking a took a look at what he needed:

• somebody to help him fix up his CV - this somebody would need to look at the things he has done over the last few years, which he considers fairly routine but which speak of his expertise and specialisations
• somebody to guide him through the steps needed to market himself because he just didn't know where to start.

I'm honoured that he thought of me because of my involvements in publicity, media, marketing and communications. Having been through a similar situation recently and totally understanding the fearful leaps involved in either going freelance or into corporate, the 'molehill to mountain syndrome' and dark sadness where you feel trapped, I was an empatheic somebody. Best of all, I knew a more suitable somebody with greater expertise who would be able to help better than I could. The sun has started shining again.

Late last year I completely cracked (total overload - I finally hit my limit). A somebody pulled me through. She listened, she saw and she said, "I can help". And she did - beyond words.

Keep your ears open and listen carefully because you may be such a somebody; a vital lifeline. It takes great courage and insight to say, "HELP! I need somebody". And when you hear this, it is very important that you, like my somebody, reply "I can help".

Help! The Beatles (lyrics)
John Lennon wrote the lyrics of the song to express his stress coming from The Beatles' quick rise to a massive level of success after years of obscurity.

Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help

When I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these daya are gone, I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round
Help me, get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me, help me, ooh.