Blood donation #60 in the bag.
My second donation with Western Cape Blood Service at their plush and comfortable donor center in George. My donor record was transferred from SA National Blood Service, which is where I first began donating blood at the age of 16 at the mobile clinic that visited our school.
With my 60-donation milestone now reached, it is onward to 70, which I should make in 2 to 2.5 years.
To me, languishing has been a word that relates to sitting around and purposefully doing not much. Like lying down on a lounging chair next to a pool. Or being sprawled on a comfortable couch doing not very much.
The official definition of languishing is 'failing to make progress or be successful', which fits my theme.
The Nutreat's newsletter's '9 Things To Read this Week' directed me to this NY Times article, "There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing".
"It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.
Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021."
This is me. This is me. This is me!
I'm a champion snooze-button-hitter! I have long 'To Do Lists' - that keep growing and that I never seem to get close to nailing. It can take me an age to get around to things, especially those that require focus and concentration (I'll do lots of short, quick tasks instead). My attention is constantly fragmented as I juggle people and projects. I muddle through each day. I'd agree with the article that I don't suffer from mental illness, but I'm not the picture of mental health either.
The article draws its connection to COVID-lockdown lifestyle changes as the reason for this state of languishing, but I experience many of these symptoms primarily because I hold the responsibility of two start-up companies in my hands and my time in the past four years has been spent excessively more on work than living. I'm frustrated and while not completely hopeless, I give myself a pat on the back for making it through some days because I can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel. This has definitely been worse in this past year.
A link in this article took me to another on 'revenge bedtime procrastination'. I'm suffering from this too. This is when you sacrifice sleep to '"eke out personal time" or when "people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late-night hours”. Coincidentally, I've thought about this recently.
It is not uncommon that I'll work until 2am or 3am to complete something. I favour working from 9pm or 10pm for a few hours because it is quiet and my focus is uninterrupted. I'll only turn out my light to go to sleep an hour or more after turning off my computer. I choose to use this 'bridging' time to distance myself from always-on work. I do my biokineticist exercises, look at Facebook or read articles like these and, every night, I read the book I'm on at the time - usually doing stretches while I read. Common sense says that I should be leaping into bed and turning out the light to get maximum sleep hours, but at this time, when email, phone, messages, dogs, traffic, house are all quiet, this time is all mine. Like the people in the article, I value having some time for myself more than sleep.
The article makes a good suggestion of allowing no interruptions before noon on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. This gives you uninterrupted blocks of time to focus. I'm not quite sure how practical this will be for me but I'd like to give it a shot - to carve out blocks of uninterrupted day-time hours from a day or two a week to really sink my teeth into items that need my full focus and to give me back my nights for me.
An old varsity friend had this joke:
"What do you call a mushroom in a bar?"
"A fun guy (fungi) to be around."
Haha haha
It comes to mind every time I see mushrooms or read/say the word fungi. Which is often.
At the beginning of April, I spotted THIS next to a trail:
A Google search for 'smelly fungus' led me to the discovery of the family of stinkhorn mushrooms.
This one pictured is Clathrus archeri (aka Anthurus archeri, Devil's Fingers). It is a soil fungus from a family commonly known as stinkhorn mushrooms. They like to grow near woody debris, in lawns, gardens, and forests. It has a job in the composting cycle where it breaks down plant litter to humus.
This A. rubra is smaller with bifurcated arms, a standy-up stem and the gleba located centrally and not spread along the arms as with C. archeri.
The two are very different so I'm very happy with my original identification.
According to Wiki, A. rubra is native to Australia and its presence in South Africa and Kenya is currently unexplained.
I'm seeing loads of fungi in the forests here - most growing on logs and branches. Different colours, sizes and shapes. I find them absolutely delightful but I haven't got a clue as to what any of them are. Time to get a fungus book!
I went with my mom this weekend to Port Elizabeth for a family gathering. My mom's cousin (Jeannie) was celebrating her 60th wedding anniversary.
As far as the family connection goes, my mom's father and her cousin's mother were siblings. My mom is 12 years younger than her cousin but she grew up in an environment where all the cousins (there were a number of them) grew up together in Zimbabwe, congregating for holidays and occasions at family farms. My mom was 9 when her cousin got married (and she was at their wedding 60-years ago).
I only really know of this side of the family from stories, like how they fit into the family tree. I met my mom's cousin Jeannie and her husband David in Cape Town about 10 years ago. They - and one or two of their children (my generation - but older than me) - came to the Cape Town FEAT event, which was really sweet. I stopped in to visit my mom's cousin at their picture framing shop on a visit to Cape Town some years ago. In recent years, I have been 'friends on Facebook' with some of this branch.
Saturday's celebration was absolutely charming. The lunch was held on the lawns of Jeannie's son's garden (second cousin in relation to me). It was a family affair with Jeannie's children, their children and some of their great-grandchildren! And a couple of their friends were in attendance too.
The afternoon included talks by each of Jeannie's children (second cousins to me), the oldest grandchild (now 36) and their longest-standing friend who was best-man at their wedding. For me, it was special to listen to stories about Jeannie and David - of their life and their contribution and impact on their children and people around them.
We really don't know each other and yet I am one of them. Without hesitation. By virtue of my mom being Jeannie's first cousin, the connection follows through with Trudy, Dave and Ingrid, who I had the fortune to spend some time speaking to on Saturday. We're on the same generation level but they're older than me and younger than my mom.
Facebook too makes a big difference. Who they are and what they look like was no surprise. Where Facebook has its failings, in keeping family members connected, it plays a fine role.
I've never had much family around as they have been spread around the globe. But when we do see each other, a connection is there.
Friends are awesome, but there is something about family. I am very glad that I went through with my mom for this special celebration.
I live within one to two kilometres of points that give me access to any number of trails above George. While I am on some of the sections a few times a week, I do branch out occasionally to enjoy others that I need to drive to get to (between 2.5 minutes and 10 minutes drive). I also like hitting new sections to mix it up.
I decided to colour all the trails that I've been on in pink. The yellow circles show the 'entrances' that I use to get on to the trails. The yellow, green and orange tracks are the ones on the map that I have not yet explored.
I'm not yet running 'properly' but I am walking and hiking and trotting. I guess I cover around 5-7km per day - maybe more on weekends when I have more time available.
I am very fortunate to have this in my backyard and, as you can see, I still have so many more trails to cover (and there are still the mountain peak routes too!).
When my mom's dog Rosy is on a leash, walking the suburb streets, she is a nightmare. She turns into a pulling, whirling dervish that barks at dogs behind gates and lunges at other dogs out for a walk with their owners. She gets Rusty wound up too and so Rusts will also do the odd lunge, barking at dogs-behind-gates.
This is asshole behaviour.
When Rosy is off lead, she is 98% a sweet, friendly and well-behaved dog. We have instances where she'll bark at passing mountain bikers or the odd yap at other dogs on the trail. For the rest, exemplary behaviour.
I see with other dog owners - regulars on the trails - that they also leave their dogs off lead. We let all the off-lead dogs greet each other. We have no issues, no barking, no snapping. But, if I have mine on leads and they have theirs on leads - well, it becomes a pulling, lunging, barking frenzy.
Websites credit 'leash aggression' to stress (at being restrained), aggression, fear, unruliness, play-soliciting behaviour (this is Rosy!), anxiety, territorial response, and being overly excited. I think too that on a leash, with you at their side, they are more confident, know they are safe with you to protect them and that they can get away with being an ass because the other dog cannot get at them either.
People are not so different to dogs.
In cars, people will hoot, shout, gesticulate, flip the bird, or accelerate like they're on a start line. They lack patience, forgiveness and show no accommodation. In their metal cocoon, they feel confident, invincible and superior.
We see so much asshole behaviour online too. Keyboard warriors pass judgement, spew vitriol, fling personal insults on even the most innocuous posts. Behind your computer, hundreds or thousands of kilometres away, you can say what you want - and get away with it.
Would they say the same sentence to the face of the person, while looking into their eyes? Probably not.
Rosy is proof of this. I've unclipped her when she is being an ass and there is an immediate change from idiot dog to nice, friendly dog.
And perhaps this is the best way to censor anything you type. Ask yourself, "Would I say this to them straight if they were standing in front of me?".
In some situation we sometimes do not say with honesty what we should (as relevant), but what goes on online smacks of poor socialisation and bad behaviour.
I subscribe to the Nutreats newsletter, which arrives in my email inbox weekly - usually on a Friday. It is compiled by sisters Feige and Zissy Lewin. There is always a recipe (these two cook up a storm) and also book reviews (they devour books like silkworms on a mulberry leaf). Two of my favourite sections of the newsletter include '9 Things to Read This Week' and their Listicle.
The 9 Things To Read This Week section includes links to articles across a range of topics. Through this I've been introduced to a variety of topics that may not have ever crossed my mind. I don't always read them all - I pick-and-choose and will usually read four or five of the nine.
I opened the link for 'Why the Idea of Laziness Is a Lie' - #6 on this week's list.
The article is a good one - a Q&A interview with psychologist Devon Price on his book 'Laziness doesn't exist'. I can totally recognise many errors in my ways where almost every minute of my day is spent being productive and I can barely handle to watch a show on Netflix without doubling-up by doing something (crochet, fixing/making/doing something).
In the first Q&A, Price answers the question asked of where the idea of laziness originated. His answer includes the following:
"Many of the things that we call laziness, such as procrastination, are often driven by perfectionism and anxiety. When we look at someone who won’t get started on a research paper because they’re super anxious and they don’t know how to begin—even though they care a great deal about getting the job done perfectly—we call them lazy."
I'm generally a go-getter and I jump into projects with gusto. But, there have been a bunch of things over the past few years that I have been a real slacker on. Sure, I need to do them, but there is a pecking order of tasks that need to be done that are more urgent.
Nonetheless, I have identified the elements that have held me back and I'd add judgement to the two items listed above by Price of perfectionism and anxiety.
I have not been lazy with my time, but I have procrastinated because of the lack of extended chunks of time, lack of energy, lack of urgency, lack of confidence and fear of judgement.
Of course, I like to do things perfectly, but I have also learned to settle for sub-perfect in some cases - like when making a 'how-to' or explanatory video. The viewer just wants an answer to their question; they don't need an Oscar-award winning production.
I recently made a video about installing a rudder kit for our Vagabond kayaks. I've got a few kits out and I urgently needed to make a video so that the recipients can get on with it. I was 'scared' to even begin making it - paralysed by anxiety over judgement more than perfectionism.
When I finally got up the gumption, I shot it on my 'happy snappy' Olympus Tough camera - not a super high-quality video camera. For the internet, the quality is perfect but I'd been led into disregarding this camera because only high-end would be good enough.
Except for the first clips, I shot the rest on my own, in my backyard, using a tripod. It took hours to figure out the best angle and set up the tripod with each element. A whole day down and I had the shots in the bag.
I had never done a rudder installation myself. Sure, I created the rudder kit and I've seen the assemblers at the factory doing an installation, but it is something else to drill into a kayak (my friend's!) yourself (especially when you haven't got much experience with drilling).
I shot the video outside, during the day and managed to keep to the shade. With all the outside sounds, like dogs barking, I'd decided to do the instructions as a voiceover.
As I couldn't get the sound to record properly on my computer - using the computer microphone or a plug-in one that my friend gave me, I resorted to recording on my phone - using the plug-in mic - and then emailing the files to my computer. Record, re-record, re-record...
At the end of it all, I now have a pretty decent 11-minute video that clearly shows a person how to install a rudder kit at home. It is easy enough and the instructions are sufficiently clear that even I can follow it - haha haha
On the video, did I show and say everything correctly? Did I say or do anything wrong? Could I have done it better?
The important thing is that the video is done and it provides clear instruction. I had been so worried about judgement and about what I'd created being ripped apart and criticised. Then what? Do it all again? This is just one example of how I have been held back time and time again. It really is so stupid - but it is there.
When it comes to creating public content like this, I need to be more like the thousands of people who put themselves out there on the internet every. single. day.
Yes, I need to be more like the honey badger. Honey badger don't care. Honey badger just does her thing.
George, like Parys, has a ton of churches representing every denomination - and some of them in duplicate or triplicate.
It puzzles me.
The waste of resources is incredible. Lawns, gardens, halls, the church building itself, other rooms, kitchens and everything else that goes along with these structures.
For the most part, christian churches are used on Sunday mornings, maybe Sunday evenings. Maybe Saturdays for weddings and funerals. Maybe small groups of people on weekday evenings for youth groups, bible study or prayer meetings. Churches are used by the church themselves for a few hours a week.
The rest of the time these buildings are empty - bar administrative people and cleaners.
To me, this is abominable!
DISCLAIMER: I'm sure there are churches that have stuff going on, but from my personal observations - and I drive around a lot in the day - I see no cars and no people and no activity from the 7-10 odd churches that I most frequently pass. In Parys, there were a few churches that rented out their halls in the afternoons for activities like karate, dance and gymnastics - it may be happening here too.
Even though many of these buildings are ugly as sin (from the outside), they are a weather-proof resource that is sorely under-utilised and that, I feel, could really service the residents that surround them.
Halls are easy to purpose because they're a blank canvas. The church interior with its rows of pews would need a clever design rethink (get rid of the fixed pews) to be able to easily transform the space into a useable (and more friendly) one.
Partnered with a garden, halls make good day-time child-care facilities for working mothers. They can transform into craft, skill, language-learning, and extra-lesson centres in the day. Space is always needed to special needs or those with learning difficulties to receive attention and education. Night classes can be hosted there at night as well as providing space for games, hobby, social, interest, cultural and other small gatherings. Think dance, yoga, music and theatre too. Various church rooms could serve as socially-distanced working spaces with wifi. Working from home necessitates an extra room or adapting communal space for a home office - churches have rooms that are unused during the day.
And, I don't see why different faiths can't share buildings. If the muslims take Fridays, those of Jewish faith can book Saturdays, and the various Christian faiths can take slots on Sundays at 8am, 11am, 2pm and 5pm. Just remove the Jesus-on-the-cross to keep the space deity-neutral.
Groups that use these spaces can contribute to the care of the building and use of resources (water, electricity). Rates need not be capitalist. Some groups (AA, special needs) could be hosted free-of-charge. And with more people using the building, the church has a greater community that may participate in fundraising events and church-run initiatives that benefit their group and wider community, regardless of their religion, because they are active in this space.
As well as creating an activity hub in the community that surrounds the church, maximising the use of a building is green. One building used efficiently and maximally is more green than the resources squandered on five under-utilised church buildings.
What goes for churches also applies to significantly under-utilised school properties. Shift schooling would maximise the use of the classrooms throughout the day. As for those fields that stand open a majority of the time - arrrrrggghhh! Such a shame! Nearby schools should share facilities - maximising use while sharing upkeep expenses. That gates are closed for months of the year (not just weeks) for the school holidays - a sadness indeed.
I don't see things changing any time soon but as churches feel the financial pinch more, then perhaps they'll look beyond their own bubble.
When I moved to George in November last year, I was delighted by the long days here. In Gauteng, it is a treat for a month or two when it is quite light until 8pm for a short period. Here in George, the sun sets about 30-minutes later and, in November through to late January, it felt like it look longer to get properly dark.
These long evenings really suited me. I'd get back from work after 6pm and hit the trails by 19h00. I'd still have at least 90 minutes of bright daylight. If I got out earlier and back earlier, you would have found me gardening or doing stuff outside until 20h30, which I really enjoyed.
My new home area will experience shorter days (compared to my old homes in Jo'burg and Parys) from both ends with later sunrise and earlier sunset in the winter months.
The sun now sets around 18h15 in George. I need to get out earlier to be off the trails by sunset. My 'night-time' gardening activities are curtailed as I run out of daylight.
I don't pay too much attention to sunrise times - because I'm still sleeping then! The difference between George and Parys is smaller than sunset and there is about a one-week shift. The sun currently rises in George at 06h49, which is about 25-minutes later than in Parys.
At 18h30 this evening I was pulling out weeds from between the paving bricks of my driveway - almost in the dark. Two months ago I may have only just been lacing up my shoes to go out.
I've just taken a peek at a sunrise/sunset chart to see how things look for winter. The earliest sunset time is reached on 6 June with sunset at 17h27. This sticks around for a few days and then on 18 June (my birthday!) the sun goes down one-minute later and the change - towards lengthening evenings - begins.
As far as sunrise goes, the latest sunrise time of 07h36 is reached on 26 June and, after a few days of this, on 5 July the sun gets up a minute earlier. That's a really late sunrise! It will be weird even for me (a person that rarely sees light creeping into the day). The latest sunrise in Parys will be at 07h00 on 23 June.
Of interest, earliest sunrise in George in summer was 05h11 in the first week of December and latest sunset was 19h45 in the first week of January.
In Parys, earliest sunrise time this past summer was 05h09 on 30 November and latest sunset time this was 19h10 on 11 January.
For the past few months, I've been working my way through a number of series on Netflix. I may watch one episode a night, sometimes two and sometimes none, so it can take a while to complete a season.
The types of shows that I am really enjoying are skill-based reality shows. Aside from deriving pleasure from watching and learning about different talents and skills - and seeing these develop as the season progresses - I most enjoy the feel-good element of these shows.
The shows usually involve competition and an ultimate winner; someone is eliminated at the end of each episode. But, the interactions are not dog-eat-dog. Instead, the participants are supportive of each other and the judges too are personable, positive and encouraging.
When you mouse-over shows, they have, a la TED Talks, three words that encapsulate the show, like Sentimental * Heartfelt * Emotional or Suspenseful * Mystery * Drama or Controversial * Provocative * Investigative.
I'm into shows where one of the words is Feel-Good.
I'm not sure which one got me started but the shows that I have really enjoyed include:
Blown Away - glass blowing (two seasons)
The Big Flower Fight - pairs and large scale flower arranging (one season)
Glow-up - make up artistry (two seasons)
Next In Fashion - fashion design pairs battle it out with themed challenges each week (one season)
Interior Design Masters - interior design pairs have to do make-overs (one season)
Restaurants On The Edge - a restauranteur, chef and interior designer travel to different locations and help a struggling restaurant to get back on its feet with the tools to survive and thrive (two seasons - just finished this. More, more, more!)
In terms of creative crafts, I'd like to see a ceramics version of 'Blown Away'. Or even something with wood working or welding.
How about a musical variation? I'm thinking music composition, mixing, songwriting... Participants (composers / songwriters) can come from different styles i.e. classical, rap, pop, blues, jazz and even a DJ and each episode they have to create a piece of music that meets an objective according to a theme.
While some participants may be quirky, they are nice (with very few exceptions), as well as appreciative, positive, hard-working, and thankful. There is a lot of kindness involved too.
Feel-good viewing is working for me.
