Big discounts - and they're not making a loss

 We decided long ago that AR Gaiters would not do discounts on our products and Black Friday sales. Our pricing is fair and it is not overinflated to accommodate seasonal sales. We also didn't want someone who orders one day to score big, while someone else two days later who only just heard of us misses out and pays full price. We also did not want our sales to be affected by customers waiting six months for a clearance sale.

On Sunday morning, I went to Food Lover's Market for the first time in a long time. A friend had shared that a sale was on and one of the items was 2kg parboiled rice, which I mix in with my dog's food. The price was a win at 4 x 2kg for R100. I picked up some other items for myself and for my friend too. The special included 8 x 500g pasta for R100. The saving, just on this, was R139.92! In total, my savings on a total bill of R599 - items for me and for my friend, came to R291.79. 

Here's the thing... they are not making a loss on selling these products at significantly lower prices. They are just making less profit. It is a numbers game selling bigger volume for a lower margin to still come out right at the end.

I do love a good discount, and I would be a fool not to take advantage of offers, but it does make me feel that the rest of the time I'm being ripped off.

We never want our AR Gaiters customers to feel like this so we instead deliver an excellent product at a fair price all year.

Today would have been my uncle Ged's 68th birthday

Today would have been my uncle Ged's 68th birthday. Three weeks ago he took his own life.

Gerard, Ged to us and Gerry to his Australian friends, was my dad's youngest brother, born on 9 April 1957 in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). He was the only one of the five siblings to be born in Rhodesia. The others were all born in the Seychelles. My grandfather was a land surveyor. He would have moved his family to Rhodesia for work opportunities and once there they moved around a lot.

Although Ged was my uncle, a close family connection, we were not close; we've always lived in different countries. I can recall Ged and his first wife Daniella living in Zimbabwe when I was a child. I vaguely remember seeing them there. By the time I was in late primary school or just into high school, Ged and his wife had immigrated to Australia.

I saw Ged infrequently when he visited South Africa and fondly remember some international phone calls throughout my youth; international calls were a special thing indeed in those days. Our family on my dad's side, was small and spread around the world but despite infrequent contact, there was always that familial bond. A blood-is-thicker-than-water kinship.

Ged in the Seychelles in December 2024 with cousin Fred.

To me, Ged was the 'young' uncle that was full of bounce and laughter. While he worked in the agricultural industry (fertilisers and soil additives), his passion was for fishing - a sport that he actively pursued living on the north-east Queensland coast. Every long-distance call or, later, email with news, featured fishing, especially out at sea. And, like his brothers, Ged was a keen birder.

Ged retired in early 2021 and later that year decided to immigrate to from Australia to South Africa. Divorced from his second wife Juanita, with whom he stayed in contact, Ged chose to move here to be closer to his siblings: his brother (my dad) and his sister in Jo'burg, and their other brother who lives only a five-hour flight away in the Seychelles. 

Ged arrived here in February 2022 and he settled in Jo'burg. As luck would have it, an opportunity presented and my aunt and her partner moved to the Eastern Cape later that year. I hoped Ged would follow. The Garden Route and into the Eastern Cape suited his interests of fishing and birding. Even after Ged and my dad visited over new year, he was not yet convinced to make another move. His life in Jo'burg continued.

Me, my mom, my dad and Ged. This was a lovely visit. My dad and Ged did a good road trip together, stopping to stay with us for a few days. My dad isn't big on smiling for photos... 1 January 2023

Through last year, Ged and I had a lot more contact dealing with issues related to my dad. Our interactions were not always smooth and our differences mostly stemmed around him telling me that my dad was ok (which he wasn't) and to back off, which I would not, could not do. It was stressful for both of us and while we did not always agree, I appreciated that Ged was up that side to give support to my dad.

At the end of November, Ged headed off to the Seychelles to spend a couple of weeks there with his brother. By early to mid-December he had decided to move to the Seychelles. I celebrated this plan - I could see him having an incredible retirement living close to his brother and spending his days fishing, a far cry from his last three years landlocked in Jo'burg (and still resisting my pleas and that of his sister to consider a move to our regions for the same benefits).

He spoke of a work opportunity within the agricultural sector in government. While this did not pan out, it may have been a 'trigger'. 

Young Ged

By early January his plan was to visit the Seychelles again in March '25, head to Australia to tie up some affairs there, wrap up life in Jo'burg and be able to settle in the Seychelles by August 2025. He had bought a vehicle while in Sey - a buggy that "goes like the clappers" which he described as "my fun car for when the weather is nice" (whatsapp on 10 Jan) and put down a deposit on a '"work car".

He was also very excited about securing an agency for a fertiliser product and recruiting former colleagues into a consulting business. Part of exploring this business this involved travels to Durban in mid January and then on to Zambia and Zimbabwe. We had regular comms until 11 February, while he was still in Zambia. From here he went to Zimbabwe. He had only expected to be back home in South Africa in late March.

Ged was friendly, chatty, social, fun and outgoing. He had long, long friendships, was well regarded by colleagues, and he enjoyed being with people. He also enjoyed games, especially backgammon.

On the afternoon of 16 March 2025, my mom and I received a call just after 14h30 from my uncle in the Seychelles to say that he had received an email from Ged. The email was very clear about Ged's intention to take his life and he gave details of his executor (his ex-wife). Ged said that he had messed up his life. 

I started phoning.

I made contact with a good friend of Ged and his sister, Jan, to get Ged's address. As luck would have it, she was in the area visiting her daughter. She immediately went to Ged's place. Ged lived in a cottage on a property and with the landlady not home, she was unable to access the property. The neighbours on either side were not home so she couldn't get over a wall from that side. A patrolling security company was unable to assist. She didn't have the landlady's number but after a bit more than an hour she had a number for the landlady's husband.

While that was going on there, I was on the phone, trying to make contact with the Benoni Police Station on every number I could find online. Nothing. I also tried the national emergency number multiple times over two hours. Nothing. I got hold of the patrolling security company, explained the situation and asked them to get their vehicle to look out for the returning landlady and to get her to call me. I also asked if they knew how I could contact the police station. The controller explained that it was near impossible and was a big problem; he said the same for the national emergency number too.

Young Ged - fishing

Once Jan had the number for the landlady's husband, I called him. They were together. I explained the situation, asked when they would be home and warned them. They were home about an hour later. Jan had stayed around to meet them at the house together with her friend who worked in the security/policing sector. She phoned shortly after 17h30 to confirm that they had found him. 

Dead.

We all had no idea. 

I needed to understand what happened and from various people I have pieced together a fairly clear picture.

"Forgive yourself the for not having the foresight to know what now seems so obvious in hindsight" - Judy Belmont

My dad is bipolar and I've dealt with his mental illness, mania and psychotic episodes since I was a child, more so in the last 15 years. I would have sworn that I could spot the same in other but I missed it completely in Ged. Completely.

From what I have pieced together, it seems that Ged had a psychotic period from perhaps mid- or late December. Delusions, grand plans, making risky financial decisions with his investments (stock market), excessive spending, bad financial decisions, incidences of going "off with the faeries", not sleeping, not listening to advice or warnings, frenetic, hyperactive and then slumped with tiredness, great ideas and no tangible plans, smoking heavily, and emotional.

December 2024 in the Seychelles
Ged with brother Ray, niece Diane and cousin Fred.

I spoke to my friend who is specialising in psychiatry about this 'sudden' onset.

She said that there would most likely have been an underlying medical condition - something like early dementia with subtle cognitive and executive function problems. Nothing overt. 

In Bipolar II, one can be fully functional with periods of hypomania - less sleep, more effective, busy and productive. It does not affect functionality but depression is a big challenge. Difficult to treat, longer bouts and more serious.

Our family history was not in Ged's favour - and bipolar does have a high genetic link. Their other brother, born between my dad and my Seychelles uncle, committed suicide when I was a baby. From what my mom recalls, he struggled with depression. He must have been around 23 when he took his life.

Then, there is my dad with onset at 29 and life-long periods of OK, not ok and very not ok.

And now Ged. 

People don't choose congenital defects, genetic disorders, cancer, and thousands of other ailments. Mental illness is no different.

A visit to see his sister.
My aunt's partner Jack, my aunt Marie-Jose and Ged

My friend said that genetically the condition can be dormant and that it can be triggered only once you have experienced enough stress - in whatever form. When the river breaks its banks, that is the trigger. "And for some people, that is only later in life," she says. Late onset mania.

Since speaking to her, together with input from people close to Ged, I have assembled the following puzzle pieces from friends and family to build a clearer picture. These recollections of individual occurances now make more sense.

One thing is for sure - it is never one thing in isolation. Importance can only be attached to 'incidences' in hindsight and, like paint strokes, it takes assembling many of them to create the full picture. 

That is why this was so easy to 'miss'.

In December 2019, he was unusually tearful and vulnerable, speaking about Rhodesian war experiences.

In 2021, after COVID lockdown, he had left work and moved to another town. He was quite unsettled and would often stay awake all night fiddling around with his shares. At times, he complained of feeling depressed and a lot of unimportant things seemed to worry him to an unreasonable extent - like the type of laundry detergent bought. He tried anti-depressant medication briefly but stopped taking it after two weeks.

He then decided to move to South Africa - this in itself is a big one. By this stage he'd spent at least 30 years in Australia. But, the reasons to be closer to his siblings and also financially - cost of living in retirement - were sound. COVID travel restrictions meant that he was stuck in Australia. He was upset about this and he irrationally ranted about suing the Australian government.

An older photo but in my mind, this is what Ged will always look like to me. It is how I picture him.

He became quite litigious, querying available legal solutions to perceived wrongs against him.

In the last year, I picked up on episodes of aggression (verbal) from him - related to wrongs against my dad. While he wasn't incorrect, his reaction was excessive. Even a tiff that we had. Verbally abusive to me. I think it was around this time that he must have unfriended me on Facebook, which I only discovered on his passing. Back then I'd left him to cool off for a few weeks until I needed to reach out to him again and by then we just carried on interacting - water under the bridge.

Before leaving for the Seychelles, he broke up with his girlfriend Kim. They had been together for about a year. She says that she doesn't know why - it was his decision. And then she mentioned that she thought he was suffering from the beginning stages of Alzheimers. 

I asked her more about this as my friend's best psychiatric diagnosis was 'A manic episode due to an underlying medical condition' with early dementia with subtle cognitive and executive function problems.

She said she first noticed forgetful symptoms only a short while before they split. They spoke about someone they know who is showing early signs of dementia and she told Ged that he was also forgetting things. She asked him to get a medical done. He broke up with her shortly after this.

Fishing in the Seychelles in December 2024. Looking at photos from around this time he was looking very much older, lined and gaunt.

From about two days after he arrived in the Seychelles, Ged had very high blood pressure. His legs and feet were very swollen. He went to the hospital and they said it was stress. 

Kim says that she noticed that he was more forgetful and aggressive in the Seychelles. And then the spending spree began. She tried to intervene but he told her to butt out. 

A lovely photo of Ged from at least a good couple of years ago.

My working theory is that Bipolar II kicked in by 2021, possibly late 2019, but certainly by 2021 he had symptoms of hypomania.

Then, early dementia arrived - maybe only in this last year. My grandmother, Ged's mother, got hit with dementia.

With these underlying conditions present, there was then a trigger that got pulled just before or when Ged arrived in the Seychelles. From there, he went into a completely manic episode for the better part of the next two-and-a-half months. During this time he spent a lot of money, took financial risks with his investments and made a lot of bad decisions.

He then came back down to ground, saw the financial carnage, had awareness of his probable cognitive decline - initially raised by his girlfriend, and lastly he has had first-hand experience of bipolar from my dad and depression from his brother. What a perfect storm. 

Ged found himself in a situation that he could not see any way out of; and no future, or at least not one with less problems than he already was facing.

On the outside, solutions seem easy: sell everything purchased, secure and stabilise investments, and recover with support from siblings. But this was about more than money.

There are so many signs here that if they'd come from my dad my warning lights would have been flashing. But then I know my dad well; I did not know Ged in the same way and while some of the things he said on the phone or whatsapp seemed a bit much, these did not raise alarm bells for me. 

I am so sorry that I missed the signs.

I am so sorry that Ged did not reach out to any of us.

I am so sorry that we did not know.

But I do understand. Completely.

Me and Ged. 1 January 2023

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Note: I have written this all down mostly for myself, but also for family, friends and former colleagues who want answers. Ged's death caught us all by surprise. 

All too often, we don't know what happens in the lead up to someone taking their life, especially if you are not part of the 'inner circle'. Suicide is not talked about. For me, this is life and so I have recorded here what happened in my uncle's life. For me. For you. 

Once you join the dots, it all makes sense. With understanding, there is peace.

I painted a picture

 A watercolour painting teacher-artist (Andrea Nelson) came up on my FB/Insta feed a few months ago. I followed and have enjoyed her simple, creative and colourful projects. I just watched and didn't do, despite her encouragement of followers to just give it go.

The other day with friends, the one says that she gets together with another one or two friends every Monday and they paint - watercolour - for about 90 minutes. Of course I said, "I'd love to come" and the other two with us said the same.

On Monday, we joined the painting group. I only had an hour but I did complete this flower. I'm no good at thinking up things to paint myself (yet) so I found a picture online of something that I liked and did my own version of it.

My first watercolour painting probably since primary school!

I've got a way to go in learning how to use watercolours - strong, dilute, water first, how it spreads etc. It is fun and creative, and I look forward to improving.

As far as yarn crafts go, I have had a crochet hiatus for about two years. Sure, I have made a few odd items, but no proper projects. I just do not know what I would like to make. I have had an itch to embroider flowers. I saw a booklet at a fabric store a few weeks back with 100 embroidery stitches and took it as a sign. I started at 1 and worked my way through to create a sampler.

The first 40-ish embroidery stitches. A lot can be done with these
plus French knots and bullion stitches.

There are some lovely floral designs that I have seen online. I need to choose one and a colour palette and give it a go. Handcrafts like this go well with listening to audiobooks and podcasts, and watching shows on streaming.

Going sulfate-free shampoo - no more hair loss

Despite my hair being fast growing, for many years I have shed many hairs daily - certainly more than the 100-odd hairs that it is said we lose as part of normal hair loss. While the shedding feels less with shorter hair, and more with longer hair, I still felt that I was losing too much hair every day. A tangle in my brush and a wad in the shower daily. I always had little baby hairs on my hairline - and probably all over my scalp too. These were a clear indication that a sizeable of volume of hairs were constantly being replaced.

I had heard about some shampoo brands, including one that I used, being responsible for hair loss. After hearing this again a few months back, I turned to the internet.

The primary problem, it seems, is the sulfate ingredient in shampoo. Sulfates are responsible for that lovely foamy lather. On the ingredient list of most shampoos, you'll find sodium lauryl sulfate and sodium laureth sulfates. The shampoo that I had used for years contains both of these. 

It also contains a number of other ingredients - glycols, salt, silicones, artificial colourants, fragrances, and preservatives - that are skin irritants. This article explains the many shampoo chemicals. 

I never had an itchy, dry or dandruff scalp, but, because of the ingredients in my shampoo, my hair was subject to being stripped of its natural oils. The whole list of ingredients was responsible for making my hair dry, brittle, frizzy and weak, and affecting my hair follicles. Disruption to the protective keratin sheath around the hair shaft and follicle leads to hair loss too. With my sporty activities, I've generally been a daily hair washer, which increased by exposure to these damaging chemicals.

I headed to the shops to look for a sulfate-free shampoo. It took time to read the back of so many bottles, but finally in the African hair-care section I found a shampoo that is free of petroleum, paraben (preservative), sulfate and silicones. 

I've been using this Mango & Marula shampoo (by 'The Perfect Hair' brand) for about two months now. Of the no-no ingredients, it does contain propylene glycol, but this seems to be the lesser of the evils. It is priced similarly to most shampoos. The only other sulfate-free shampoo that I found was an expensive salon brand.

Within a week or two of using this shampoo, I had significantly less hair loss. My hair was longer then so I noticed the difference quickly in my brush and when washing my hair. The reduction in shedding has continued and I have very little hair loss now - I would say even below the requisite 100-odd hairs a day.

Without the sulfates, my shampoo does not foam. It takes a while to get used to this as it initially feels like your hair is not getting washed. But this sulfate-free shampoo seems to do its job.

My hair feels soft and healthy. The baby hairs on my hairline have grown significantly and I can only assume that this is happening all over my scalp.

I'm still using the same conditioner - to finish the container, but I'll look at changing to something from the same range as that shampoo. I'm that impressed.

Not my brush, but you get the idea. This is a drop in the ocean compared to what I was losing daily.

Lots of December activities

 After two weeks of hill climbing and a lot of activity in the Seychelles in November, I hit a wall in early December with a sinus / allergy / cough kind of thing. Initially I wasn't sure whether it was viral or an allergic reaction to something around at the moment. It seems like it is the latter and after two weeks of doing not much more than dog walking, I jumped into activities and making up for lost time.

During late November / December, we have a bunch of local activities on the go. The weather is summery, the evenings are long and there is so much to get out to do. 

November ended with a Social Paddle, one of the monthly activities that I organise for the Kingfisher Social Paddle Group. The Social Paddle group has been going for almost two years now and it really is something quite special. There are a number of regulars and some that come through occasionally plus newcomers. Once we hit winter this year, I lost the plot with the group and didn't organise paddle outings for a while. Then we had some weird weather patterns with lovely week days and awful weekends. I'm back in the saddle errr... kayak seat now.

End of November Social Paddle at the Garden Route Dam

On 9 December I enjoyed a lovely garden party with friends. Although the weather was cool and drizzly, the afternoon was warm and festive with friends, good picnic-style foods and also fun games.

With my mom Liz

Girls in florals with Talita, Tanja, Zelda, Jolene, me and Liz.

Johann, Otto and Jacques rocking the florals.

A bunch of us headed out on bicycles, on a Wednesday night, to see the xmas lights. Oewer Road in George has a xmas lights thing going with houses in that road and a number in surrounding roads putting on a wonderful display.

Next up was an introduction by friends Otto and Talita to Laser Run, which I wrote about. I'll definitely give a try in the new year.

The laser gun. You have to shoot single handed.

In George we have an awesome trail running community that centres around the George Trail Running (GTR) group, the MountCo trail running store and Trail Kiosk at GroundZero . The efforts of Mountco's Jacques and Clare Mouton with GTR really pull the community together. This year they have coordinated a fabulous holiday programme with a variety of local activities and events. 

I'd missed a few activities with my sinus / cough thing but I wasn't going to miss out on the Sox Xmas Lights Pyjama Night Run - a social run from the Botanical Gardens to see the Xmas lights on Oewer Street on the 20th. It was a treat to do this with my friend Tania who visiting George for the holidays as well as Talita and her daughter Nicky. My Rosy-dog joined the fun.

With Tania and Rosy dog.

Rosy really enjoyed the lights and festivities.

Then, an 'Xmas around the World' concert at the small Market Theatre, a community theatre venue in George on the 21st. It is in an old building, built in 1855, that was previously a church. The guy singing was fantastic, the guy on keyboard was fantastic and the lady on violin was fantastic. The programme was diverse and charming and efficient. A lovely evening of music. I took mom and the dogs to see the xmas lights after the concert.

As luck would have it, the timing on the 22nd was perfect for me to do a kloofing/canyoning trip with

Marthinus Esmeyer from Paradise Adventures on Friday, 23 December. Marthinus knows pretty much every waterway from source to sea in the region. While many rivers around here are no good for paddling, they are superb for canyoning. Marthinus offers a number of canyoning tours within 15 mins of George / Wilderness.

The trip this afternoon was spectacular. I knew the canyon would be pretty, but it was so much more. Swimming through pools, stepping from rock to rock, a few jumps into pools and two belay descents. From my interactions with Marthinus over the last three years, I had no doubt that he was a competent and experienced guide. He is even better than this. He knows these canyons like the back of his hand at all kinds of water levels. His setting up of the belays was smooth and efficient, moving us safely down the bigger drops without fuss or delays. His knowledge of the area and nature is extensive. This trip stands out as a highlight experience of my time living here.

Bombs away!

The water started off mild but got cooler deeper into the canyon. The 4mm wetsuit provided by Marthinus makes the experience all the more enjoyable because you do not get cold.

Friends Tanja and Jacque were on this trip plus two South Africans who live in the UK and are back to visit family for Xmas.

This canyon is spectacular!

The two belay sections were spectacularly run by Marthinus.

I joined the Wimberleys for parkrun in Mossel Bay on the 23rd and we also walked a section of the hiking trail from the lighthouse.

At the new Mossel Bay parkrun with Sarah, Tania and Paul.

It was really hot out on the hiking trail. With Tania, Sarah and Paul.

I love my AR Gaiters

Striking scenery from the hiking trail.

The 23rd was a wonderful triple-whammy as I had been sufficiently organised to coordinate a year-end Kingfisher Social Paddle Group outing on Sat, 23 Dec and made this one in the afternoon. We paddled on the Goukamma River from Blackwaters River Lodge and it was fantastic! A highlight for me, aside from sharing the paddle with my friend Tania, was seeing numerous Giant Kingfishers and having a close-up experience with a Malachite Kingfisher.

Paddling with Tania. She had photo duty.

All types of kayaks - and canoes, SUPs and surfskis - are welcome.

A Malachite kingfisher. 

On the afternoon of the 24th, I ran the December GTR FKT Challenge route. The route this month combines a bunch of trails that I really enjoy. I run some regularly and others less often and I had been wanting to get out there. But coughing and spluttering, I had stuck to dog walks and light jogs. This was actually my greatest cause of feeling that I was missing out. I had also wanted to do something special with Rosy. Off we went. I had such an enjoyable run and cruised in a better time than I expected. Strava says 1h10 moving time but real time was around 1h15 to 1h20. I did stop a few times as Miss Rosy had to swim in every swimmable body of water. It was fabulous. I followed this with two rounds of short dog walks with the others before going out to friends for Xmas Eve celebrations.

After a lovely Xmas Eve dinner with friends, Xmas Day brought its own adventure with an outing to an old forestry area behind Hoekwil with our friend Nics and her dogs. Liz and I took our hoard and we all had a blast with the dogs running all over the place and all of us taking a dip in the stream.

Dogs dogs dogs - Snow and Canada at the back, Nics' Nunzi front centre and Rosy front right.

My sweet Rusty girl.

Riding a dragon... and my mom Liz with her Bella dog.

Dec 26th was another GTR outing with a run at Glentana. I've actually never been down to the Glentana beach so I didn't want to miss this even though it meant being out the door just after 6am on Family Day... The weather was overcast with soft drizzle, but not too cold or windy and well worth doing. The route headed east but as the tide was still up, it meant a lot of scrambling over rocks. We gave up on this, turned around and ran the other way down the beach, which was lovely.

Running east toward the rocks.

With my friend Cliff. He has done exceptionally well this past year with his running. Steady progress.

With Zelda, Udo, Johan, Cliffy, Etienne and two guys in the back (don't know who they are but they were part of the greater group).

Rocks, rocks, rocks.

And this brings us to the present and the Big 5 O Week of orienteering. Where I felt like I was missing out in the early part of December not being in top-top health, I've certainly made up for lost time. 

I am thankful to be living where I am and that there are so many opportunities to get out to do activities and most do not cost a cent.

I am thankful that I have friends who like to do activities.

I am thankful that I have dogs that love activities and ensure I am always out and about.

I am thankful that when I do activities without dogs that I have my mom Liz who gives the dogs love and care.

I am thankful that I am in good health and fitness so that I can do any activity I choose.

Out with the new, in with the old

At an optometrist visit not long after I turned 40, I saw ne optometrist. Just the standard every second year checkup. My optometrist said that at some stage I would find my distance vision to improve and my close focus to deteriorate.

It took a few years but the process is in play and I recently had a check-up, my second since I've been living in George. Where my eyes had been stable for many, many years, they are changing. This was now my second prescription downgraded. I've gone from a -2.75 to -1.75 in about 3.5 years. 

I used to just wear my same prescription glasses for everything - close and far - even though I've always been able to see fine close being short sighted. Two years ago, I got a second pair of lighter prescription lenses for computer work. These are still good. I don't wear glasses for close-up. 

On this recent appointment, I needed to get a new pair of distance glasses at a weaker prescription.

Optical frames are expensive. I wasn't crazy about my last pair and wanted something similar in size and shape to the glasses I had two before. These I must have gone through three optometrist visits, keeping the same prescription and frames again and again. I took them along to try to match up with something new.

I tried a few frames but the upswept styling on the corners of the ones I liked and tried didn't do anything for me.

I ended up having new lenses put into my old frames. The benefit of this is a saving of at least R2,000. It can cost this or more for optical frames - on top of the fees for lenses, and appointment, which amounts to a lot.

For the next two years, if not longer, is out with the new and in with the old - I've got new-old frames again. I'm glad I hung on them.

One-year anniversary since my life changed with Vagabond

 On 22 June last year (it was a Wednesday then), my life changed when the doors of the factory that made my Vagabond Kayaks were locked by a sheriff. A year has passed. It feels like only a few months ago. This past year has been traumatic. I fought to save Vagabond's assets. I fought to save Vagabond. I mourned and I grieved and I went through deep sadness dealing with the loss of this business that I had invested heart and soul, years and sacrifice to build. And then, exhausted and broken, at the beginning of this year, I found the energy to look for solutions to get Vagabond back on track. But, it wasn't my decision to make.

While I'm relieved to no longer have the responsibility of Vagabond, there is so much about this past year that makes me desperately sad. I know that it will take time to work through so much grief, heartache, heartbreak and anger. I have learned from this experience.

It is the one-year anniversary of the day everything turned upsidedown and was the start of a cascade of months of events that make for 'truth is stranger than fiction' tales.

Thinking about or talking about Vagabond today has caused me waves of tears and distress. A lot this past year has been emotionally overwhelming, from being bullied, to legal battles and the fallout and loose ends that have consumed almost every ounce of my being.

On the whole, I am fine and most days are actually great. Life goes on, the heartache will fade - as it does with broken relationships and dealing with the death of people who were precious. Vagabond was precious to me.

Looking ahead, I have exciting new projects with rebuilding YOLO Compost Tumbler and growing AR Gaiters . I have great people in my life, phenomenal dogs, things that make me happy and bring joy, and much to be thankful for.

Year of the Frog

 My year started with a bang on the 2nd of January, at my desk, eating a frog. Figuratively.

I used this expression with a few friends and they didn't know it. For me, it is about doing tasks you don't really want to do but that you need to do. They're often tasks that take a long time to get around to doing and could take a lot of focus and time to complete. When they're done, you feel great, but eating and swallowing them takes effort and energy.

I looked up the origin of the expression, which comes from Mark Twain; I've found two quotes online.

The principle of 'Eat the Frog' has been adopted by loads of life and business coaches to help their clients stop procrastinating. The method aims to help you to prioritise tasks so that you can be more productive. The idea is that you identify one challenging task (the frog) and complete the task first thing in the morning (eating it) and then move on to everything else that needs your attention. 

This year, I've been eating frogs. Lots of them. Never mind mornings, I'm reveling in frog-eating days. I'm getting lots done. I don't like to eat frogs, but there is a reward in accomplishing tasks.

Forget Year of the Rabbit; 2023 is my Year of the Frog. 

But I'll go with the Rabbit too.

According to the internet, this is what the Year of the Rabbit represents:

2023 is a year of the Water Rabbit, starting from 22 January 2023 (Chinese New Year), and ending on 9 February 2024 (Chinese New Year's Eve). The sign of Rabbit is a symbol of longevity, peace, and prosperity in Chinese culture. 2023 is predicted to be a year of hope.